Massage School Week 27

This week has been full of small wins, let-downs, successes and emotional exhaustion. I'm on the downward slope for completing school and there are days when I feel excited and days when I feel scared or inadequate. It really is a day-to-day check-in with myself, and a lot of my emotional/mental health is based on my ability to get out and exercise. Since the weathers been so bad I haven't been able to get out and run, and I haven't taken the time to get a gym membership, as I've been distracted with other things. The only thing I can really do when I'm feeling this way is distract myself by reaching out and talking to people, and getting out of my head. I was able to take an extra day off work to attend my Grandpa's funeral. I decided that spending time with family in these pivotal moments is significantly more important than clocking hours at work. I love my job but I've learned that, if I want something I need to ask for it, and asking for a day off to spend time with my family is a good thing. I was able to see and talk to a lot of family that I hadn't seen for years and it felt good to be included and welcomed into such a loving space, where we are all grieving together and finding strength in each other. As I was watching my brothers and other family carry my Grandpa's casket over to be buried, it didn't feel real. It felt like a dream I was stuck in, even the images of people around me were all a blur. I had just seen my Grandpa last week, I had just received a letter in the mail from him not too long ago, I had just seen him a few months ago when he told me how proud he was of me... It's crazy how quickly things change, and how they make you really appreciate the time you have. My classes this week have been going well, I'm finally getting the hang of things(after 7 months) and managing to get all my homework done before class rather than during class. I've never been so focused on what I'm doing, and I really enjoy Clinic days and the time I get to visit with my Clients and give them some relief from their pain. I have a lot of homework to do this weekend and plan on spending all my spare time bunkered down and immersing myself in it, while the rain does its "falling" thing. I've been struggling with some pain myself this week and am fortunate to be able to get a massage this morning and hopefully find some relief! My let-down for the week would be the pain I've felt physically and emotionally, but in both cases I have to remind myself that the reason I feel these things is because I'm very much Alive, and feeling something is better than feeling nothing at all. The successes for this week were surviving two Clinic days and having such an Amazing Support Group with my classmates and family~ What have been your successes this week, your let-downs, your feelings and thoughts. Share it all in the comments below...

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